What Happens When Missoni is Cheap

I still can’t get over what I witnessed this morning; it was like Black Friday in the middle of a work week. I predicted that women would love, obsess over, and quickly buy out Missoni’s exclusive Target collection, which was finally released this morning. However, my crystal ball was a little off in foreseeing the hysteria that this collection would instigate at my local Target. I use the term “crazy” loosely, as many of the women I encountered were more like clinically insane. I probably shouldn’t be talking since I was also present when the doors opened, but I absolutely was not the first lady(?) in line. Yes, a line. Some women waited up to an hour outside of the store, the earliest shopper arriving at 6:30 AM.

When the doors promptly opened at 8, I at first felt confused that I was a contestant on Supermarket Sweep. I raced through the store grabbing anything that wasn’t already being mauled by someone else, an exercise that I’ll count as this month’s cardio. Women literally busted out of the woodwork to sabotage anyone who crossed their aisles. One little gem in particular was borderline violent in the socks and tights department, hoarding every size small in all colors and styles. Another sped around like she was running a 5K, completely filling up two shopping carts in less than ten minutes. As annoyed as I was during what I thought would be an easy shopping trip, I didn’t totally strike out. I left Target, and quickly at that, with a few Missoni items of my own, including zig-zag tumblers and colorful rain boots.

I can safely say that I’ve never witnessed grown women behaving so erratically over clothing…and accessories, shoes, lingerie, and luggage. I felt like I was voluntarily drafted into some type of deranged shopping war. It was way too early in the morning to participate in cutthroat shopping. But when is that type of shopping really ever okay? Maybe if Chanel went 90% off? Or when a Bravo Real Housewive’s closet goes on the market? Whatever…I would tell you to stay away from the stores and check out Missoni for Target online, but a bunch of crazy bitches at home are shutting down the website with too much activity.

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